My friend asked why not, and I didn’t have an answer. Well, I did, but because felt annoyingly insufficient and flippant for all the gut-reasoning composed within that one word.

She pushed for more surely-hidden details, positive that I was holding back something tangible, something that, as a best friend, she was entitled to hear.

“You’ve NEVER slept with him? He’s single AND you’re attracted to him AND he has made blatantly sexual remarks but you’re STILL not going to sleep with him. Not even a trial run?”

She read our text conversations, searching for unsaid clues, not understanding when I could only shrug in response to one of his recent texts lamenting a ‘transitional period’ and how I’m ‘different’ than his usuals and how I should be ready to be asked out on dates when he finally pulls his head out of his ass.

“It’s all crap. He’s crap. I don’t know, he says things. Words, whatever, that don’t mean anything. I don’t want to be apart of that –of his –world. He sometimes makes me smile but other than that, it’s all such crap.”

“You’re going over there – at midnight on a Wednesday –and you’re not going to sleep with him? You’re just going to what, hang out? Not even a little make-outage?”

The answer to that damn why not I still couldn’t articulate.

That night, he and I had a good time, was like G-rated slumber party, as if he and I had been friends at one point within the last year, almost made me doubt my reluctance and simply-stated because. Almost. With him, I never have to wait long before he proves me right.

Two days later, his ex-girlfriend wrote, “I love you.” on his Facebook wall.

Oh yeah, that’s why. Because.

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