Yesterday when I was taking a half-day workday, The Realtor was at his office and stopped to visit, eat a pizza, and watch Rocky IV while I studied for an upcoming exam. After my study session, I joined him on the couch –he’s surprisingly affectionate –only to shortly thereafter hear his phone vibrate. I picked it up from the ottoman to read the screen; it was Glitter (see here and here). When he screened, I asked how Glitter was doing, surprised that they still talked. He shrugged, answered factually that she was in love with him, continued to lazily rub my back, and changed the subject.

When he left my couch, he covered me with a blanket and regretfully said that leaving was the last thing that he wanted to do at that moment but he had prior work commitments (which is true, he had taken a few work-related phone calls over the course of the afternoon). Once he was gone, the Glitter incident stayed with me, resonating until I finally texted, “Is Glitter the girl of our break-up?”

Without an answer an hour later, I asked if the lack of response meant yes. “Yeah,” he said.

That “Yeah” text hit my stomach in the same way as when I found out about The Kid’s her (well, not as big of an impact -by a long shot -but the concept is the same). The other girl. Not a random but the same one that has been involved since the beginning. Another girl. A specific girl. I answered, “I guess I feel like you guys have always had a thing going between you, so I think I am going to leave you alone for a bit.”

I’ve declared doneness before, this time the line’s been crossed. I would fight for a guy, but I don’t fight against a girl. Am not strong enough, nor do I feel that it’s my place. And he never gave me a response, so he’s not necessarily fighting for me either. I erased his number and saved texts (The one from Friday that stated: “Oh Molly, you’re so right, that’s why I’ve been attracted to you from the moment we met. Because you’re the smartest, funniest, and most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” Yeah, that one’s gone, too). Done. Here I go again on my own. Without any viable prospects in sight. And I’m really trying to convince myself that I am strong enough and that it’s for the best.