I am a little bit in love with my classmates, specifically three of them and more specifically the three who were randomly selected as my group final-project team. The group is two girls and a dude (who makes up for 33.3-percent of the male population in the program and 50-percent of the straight-male population. He also happens to live less than a block from me), and they are the only reason why I am enjoying grad school as much as I am right now. The good news is that they’re a little bit in love with me too, which we emphatically state via emailed love declarations:

The only thing that has gotten me through today is the thought of seeing you guys at class tonight.


I hate the people at work; it would be like grad school if I didn’t have you three.


This does, however, confirm that if I had a laptop and wireless Internet in undergrad, I would have been even less productive (is that possible?) than what I was. The professor’s voice has reached white-noise status as I am too preoccupied on my group’s conversations, especially when one is chewing their snack deliberately loud enough to reach me three rows up and another is making sarcastic commentary on the lecture while the third is excluding me from their hipster clique (apparently adding “Sent from my iPhone” to the bottom of my emails without having sent said emails from an iPhone makes a difference? And is not as cool?). Who would listen to the professor, who costs many hard-earned dollars, when such delightful distractions are available?

Unfortunately, I enjoyed them a little too much at class yesterday and as a result needed to excuse myself for a few minutes to gain composure – could not keep my laughing-shit together. And I sit in the front row. In a class of twenty. The professor did his best to play oblivious and keep the death glares at a minimum, but my GPA definitely dropped a few points as a result. Which means I should probably start that 30-page paper that’s due in two weeks that we’ve supposedly been working on the entire semester … that accounts for 50-percent of our final grade … Because without any favoritism points, it looks like I am going to need all the help I can get. The last two exams I took last-minute PTO to finish my work; looks like for finals, I might need to take a week or so, as my time-management skills are crap. But at least my group still loves me.

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