Another one bit the dust this weekend as yet another friend got engaged. He asked after the football game when she was four rum-and-cokes deep. After her acceptance, he nervously admitted that he hadn’t brought the ring with him, it was back at the apartment, but he was excited to show it to her, and did she want to go see it?

Instead of insisting to see the piece of jewelry that would remain on her left finger until death, she said, “Can we go eat first?”

Fuck the diamond. Give me pizza. Perfect.

Also, here is my favorite news story of the day (via The Kid): Man Tries to Pay Bill with Spider Drawing