My boss, thrice removed, often calls me into his office for strategy sessions, where we discuss our current dating situations and give advice/insight into the opposite gender’s head. During my weekend debriefing where I what-the-fuck-dude questioned The Realtor’s intentions, he gave me his usual uncompassionate, bullshit-free breakdown:

“Ninety-percent chance that he already had someone over. No other possible reason. Even if it wasn’t a booty call, say you just needed a ride or something, when a friend needs something, particularly at 3am, a friend is gonna respond … unless he was otherwise occupied. With a lady. Why else wouldn’t he? Especially because he didn’t play the oh-I-slept-through-your-call card. Ninety-percent, he’s playing more than just you.”

“Well, goddamn … that sucks. Maybe now I will pursue my nice guy.”

“Yeah, well, the nice one ain’t getting 3am calls, now is he?”