After the wedding on Saturday, the four of us (myself, another bridesmaid, her boyfriend, and The Firefighter) were sitting in our hotel room playing a drinking game. Since the evening was creeping toward 4am, we played an easy one: ‘The OR game’. The rules are simple: each person asks an ‘a OR b’ question to a teammate, the teammate answers without any modifiers, takes a pull, and passes the bottle to the next person. (I realize there’s not much skill involved in the game, but we had been drinking for eleven hours at this point, cut us some slack)

We played a few rounds and my co-bridesmaid’s (extremely inebriated) boyfriend was still unable to comprehend the point of the game. He struggled each turn, unable to come up with anything without our coaching, as the bottle of liquor continued to pass and questions were asked.

Liquor or beer.
Slow or fast.
Home or away.
Pink or purple.

A few more rounds go by and he’s still having a difficult time selecting two options in which to ask, but we’ve stopped coaching, preferring instead to bypass him in the circle.

Mom or Dad.
Miller or Bud.
Top or bottom.
Sunshine or rain.

Suddenly, with a proud sense of achievement, he shouts “HEY! I GOT A GOOD ONE!”

We all wait in anticipation to hear his heavily thought-out options and he says, “MOLLY! HAVE YOU EVER FUCKED A BLACK GUY?”

The Firefighter and I cannot keep our shit together at this point, and needing some validation, he starts arguing with his girlfriend, “WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM? IT’S A LEGITIMATE QUESTION.” He then left the room in an angry uproar and was found by the hotel staff, eight minutes later, passed out on a chair.

So … you can be too drunk for the OR game. Good to know.