This week has been light on posting because I have spent it consumed in self-doubt. Every possible changed-for-the-better decision has been second guessed and internally debated and oh-my-god-what-the-hell-am-I-doing’ed. Usually I need my freak out time to fully embrace my irrationality until I can step back, reach the best conclusion, and move on. This time, it’s cyclical. I can’t seem to reach the move-on-with-acceptance step. When I mull the individual choices, I am confident … but the expanse of my general life overview … fuck. I feel like I am carrying something, lots of somethings, and I can feel everything slowly slipping out of my arms, but instead of stopping to regroup, I walk faster.

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