This morning my boss was writing me a letter of recommendation and taking long enough to warrant some grief.

“Are you writing a novel?”

“It’s your life story … or my version of it.”

“Oh good, make me an orphan, might as well get some sympathy points.”

“The part about being kidnapped by modern-day suburban Gypsies is really moving.”

“The more tear-provoking, the better.”

“There are some cheers too… like when you, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum flew that Alien Spaceship that you captured into the mothership and uploaded the computer virus enabling Earth to fight back and save the planet … I’m still choked up about that part.”

“It’s ironic that happened on our nation’s Independence Day … because then it turned out to be everyone’s Independence Day.”

“Wow, not only are you a hero but your sense of timing is both ironic and made for Hollywood… And that’s how you met Will and joined the MIB, right? Or should I not mention that part of your biography?”

“Ok, seriously, is the flippin’ letter written yet?”