“Brother, look at these beautiful shoes.”

“Molly, you don’t need any more shoes. These aren’t going to fill the emotional void.”

“But they could make me happy for at least … ten minutes.”

“And then what?”

“Then I buy something else. Did I tell you that [name redacted] misses me – he was going on and on about it.”

“Molly. That did not happen.”

“Ok, not exactly on and on. But he did say that he was ‘just thinking about me’ and that he ‘needed to call me’ so I figure that’s almost the same.”

“Yes. Very similar. Did you ask about his girlfriend?”

“Only when I told him to break up with her because we would have beautiful babies together.”

“Ok, that didn’t happen either.”

“It was implied. We were too busy not talking the girlfriend. Clearly, he would rather pretend she doesn’t exist.”


“Ooo, Brother, look at those boots! Those boots could make me happy until at least tomorrow. With sale prices, that’s less than $2/hour – much cheaper than therapy. And, bonus, I look hot which will raise my self-esteem.”

“Molly, none of these things will cure the disease, only the symptoms. To heal the hole in your cold, black heart, well, the only thing that can do that is an Xbox.”

“Or maybe I could just buy the boots.”

“Sure. Can we leave now?”