On Saturday, he (he meaning The Kid I used to date from Boston) was distracted knowing that Sweets, his current roommate and my college buddy, and I were at the wedding together. He thinks we have something between us. We don’t. I love him dearly and he makes me laugh, but I don’t want to make out with him. But I guess he was maybe jealous? Which is probably why the following text conversation took place:

“What would it take”

“For?”

“To see you again.”

“A plane ticket.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Molly, don’t lie to me, please.”

Before you, Internet, have a conniption, hear me out: I didn’t want to leave a list of demands. A plane ticket. Simple. He won’t ever actually follow through with anything, he never does, he only wanted to keep me distracted from my wedding date. And if he calls my bluff, seeing him wouldn’t actually be the END of the world. Well, maybe the end of my sanity (because we’d probably have sex) but not the world. Besides, I like to keep the blame off me.

Juxtapose that conversation to the one while at work yesterday, less than four days later, where I expressed frustration that he is constantly indifferent towards me and everything else. He is the one that claims a friend relationship wouldn’t be completely asinine. His response to my criticism:

“Leave me alone, I’m so sick of your bullshit martyrdom. My life needs to be simple right now, you need to find another outlet for your angst. It’s ridiculously unhealthy.”

“You’re totally right. When i say, ‘hey, I wish you would ask me questions and fake some interest and keep up your half of the conversation’ I am really saying ‘I am mad at you for breaking my heart’ — you broke my goddamn code.”

And then I said “fuck off” and signed out of gchat. I am so mature.

And no, I have no idea why we bother.

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