“First, remember that I only like him a little. Second, his name is Shelby.”

“… Hm.”

“Yeah. So I said to him, ‘Bubba, you’re going to need to change your name’ and I think he was offended.”

“Hm. Maybe you should have just casually started a nickname instead of the blunt thing?”

“Ok, but that’s not the bad part … the third strike … he has red hair.”

“Oh. Shit. Well, you don’t want redheaded little babies. Especially for some guy who’s only ok.”

“THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING EXACTLY. I knew I could count on you for superficial support.”