The first week of halfway unemployment has initiated a something-to-prove social calendar. Each night I have scheduled happy hours and dinners and shopping excursions. Unfortunately, the accompanying raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens are somewhat remiss. Not only is it somewhat exhausting and I question how much I actually enjoy being with people (even if they are my friends), but it is EXPENSIVE. Instead of making money each night, I spend money. The spending anxiety overrules the majority of enjoyment. My Catholic guilt rears its I don’t deserve this ugly head.

I could choose to not spend money and stay home, read, learn to knit, but I have been working long hours since high school – I don’t know how to sit still and I don’t necessarily enjoy it.

After spending my college years so incredibly heartbreakingly broke, I have a fear of being poor. I hated having anxiety about running out of shampoo or living on an all-carb-but-cheap diet. I know how to budget (I am actually really good at it) and how to pay my bills, but I don’t want to have that anxiety again.

My job pays well but some financial wiggle-room would allow me to breathe a little easier when I buy an unneeded-but-why-the-hell-not plane ticket across the world. I am, apparently, not completely willing to sacrifice my lifestyle choices and unfortunately, I don’t know if I am ready to give up my new-found social life. Does anyone, my beautiful Internet, have any job suggestions? Money is not my highest priority … looking for something with lenient hours and maybe a work-at-home option? How does one get into freelance work? What does that even entail? I’ll probably go back to serving (though not as many hours) but I thought I would explore my options, just in case.

PS: My friends were kicked out of a bar on Saturday for dry humping. Does it make you giggle a little?  Yeah, me too.  Just the words dry humping make me giggle —boner is another one, and shut up stop lying because you totally giggle too when your friend is all HIS BONER and you’re all, really? you just said boner? seriously how old are you?  and were you in your parents’ basement at the time? –much less knowing my drunk friends think the act of dry humping a good idea at a bar. My favorite part is that they weren’t embarrassed but pissed that the bouncer interrupted them. Dude, everyone in here is 21, what is the problem? If they haven’t seen this by now, it’s about damn time they did.

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