“So just how long were you going to keep this from me? The etymology of my name? Apparently, I am named bitter? Bitter!”

“And …? Did you have a question?”

“[indiscernible and theatrical gasping noises]”

“Mol, you were the second child. Maybe we were just planning ahead.”

“Everyone else that I asked is named after grace or charm or handsome or NICE adjectives. THINGS THAT HINT AT BEING LOVED. And you named me bitter. What kind of parents do that?”

“The kind that would drop you on your head?”