Today I wikipedia’ed my name and found that:

The name Molly comes from the Irish language meaning bitter.

BITTER?  Are you effing kidding me, Wikipedia?  Bitter?  Ok, granted, it’s slightly fitting. And slightly amusing.  Ok, maybe even more than slightly –maybe I would even be (secretly) slightly in love with the hilarity of its irony if it were a joke for like, A WEEK but for like, MY LIFE? Who actually has their name MEAN that?  Me. Sweet.  No, not sweet.  Bitter. 

Hello, my name is bitter.  Delightful. Sounds catchy.