“Brother, wait, we didn’t buy you any cookies.”

“I don’t need any cookies.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I really don’t.”

“But finals are approaching, you need cookies.”

“What?  What does finals have to do with cookies?”

“You’ll be stressed.”


“How are you not getting this?  Cookies help with the stress of finals.”

“Molly, I am not a chick.  I don’t eat my emotions.  No cookies.”

“Um, I don’t get it.  That doesn’t make sense.  And you’ve survived college so far?”

“Amazing, is it not?”

“Maybe cookies just in case?  What if you have girls over?”

“No.  And the girls at my apartment aren’t fat and stuffing their face with cookies.”

“Now you’re just being spiteful.”