I floss while driving to work.  With one of those one-handed toothpick-plus-string apparatuses.   But only while in low-traffic areas.   Because if no one sees me, it doesn’t count?   Do most people use the exact opposite logic and wait for a stoplight to pick their nose?  Because when the car is not in motion and can’t be picked up on a police scanner, they are then invisible? Or driving takes up too much concentration and they need to fully devote their brain-power to goobers?

Let me explain this.  If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, then it doesn’t count.  Like adjusting nylons in an elevator.

I realize it’s disgusting, but my justification is that it’s flossing and, therefore, maintaining my personal hygiene.  Not flossing would totally be worse. 

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