I have no delusions as to why I take a yoga class: I want to feel bendy

As far as exercise goes, I prefer cardio.  I am a runner.  Not a hardcore runner, as I don’t do marathons and don’t try to improve my time or distance, but I run regularly and if I reach six miles, I proudly call it a day. 

The treadmill is my tool for exhausting my emotions; whether I spend the time absorbed in my troubles or just concentrating on my feet hitting the belt, my emotional state is inversely related to the exhaustion of my physical.  I’m happiest when my muscles are depleted.  Sweat is cleansing somehow.

I need that sweat to consider it a workout.

This yoga?  Yoga involves a lot of breathing.  Which, not to sound immodest, but I have been breathing for YEARS. 

The Best Friend, whom I’ve yet to introduce but is completely wonderful and is also known as The Bestest Bestest Friend to differentiate her from Best Friend From Blank (college, childhood, etc) as I tend to collect them as if they were shotglasses, is my yoga cohort.  We’re pretty dedicated; sometimes, we go as often as twice a month.  The Best Friend is also quite versed in breathing, so one would logically conclude we’d be pros at this yoga crap.

And we are.


We bend and move quite well.  Gold Star.  The breathing, our supposedly expert skill, struggles occasionally as we know exactly the thoughts in the others head.  It’s distracting.   When thinking of a happy place, The Best Friend whispers stipulations for my place –that it cannot involve any boy or that shoes don’t count as a happy place.  Even though, not to tattle, but hers totally involves sexual situations and I don’t really think that counts as a happy place either.  Our breathing also falters when the instructor teaches sex moves –or at least what any rational person would perceive as sex moves.  Hip gyrations.  Of an indecent nature.  And sexual positions.  Or at least what could be used as sexual if one were getting laid on a regular basis.  Which I am not.  But interesting nonetheless.

Although not necessarily what the goal is supposed to be and I still prefer my cardio, the yoga and the breathing? totally worth it for sex education purposes.  Definitely well on our way to being bendy.