My favorite part about going to The Bar with my High School Girls is that they lie.  They lie with the expectation that everyone needs to maintain the lie (side note: I am the worst liar um, EVER). 

On Friday, in response to our professions …

“Mol and I own a taxidermist company.”

I’ve lied about many professions but TAXIDERMY?  She seriously must preplan ideas with the sole purpose of tripping my shit.  To bullshit taxidermy totally trumped the former winner: “My Blonde Friend Molly Only Speaks Italian”.  Sadly, boys believe anything; it didn’t take much convincing.

 “I wouldn’t say we have A LOT of animals in our respective houses.  It’s all very tasteful.  I have scenes set up, mostly, as I like to maintain nature, even indoors.  My bedroom is my favorite, I have an entire flock of birds.  It’s very peaceful.”

“I name my animals, sometimes we have conversations.”

And then they offered to buy us drinks.  Because we were obviously not creepy and definitely worth getting to know better.

Now, I only need to come up with an idea for next week.  I’m thinking … Elves?